


Better

by flootzavut



Series: Lie to NCIS [28]
Category: Lie to Me (TV), NCIS (mentioned)
Genre: Awesome Foursome, Crossover, F/M, Fluff, GxC, Lie to NCIS, Mild Angst, Sweetness, foursomeverse, very oblique ncis reference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 20:11:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10395123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: She's much better to him than he deserves, but she always has been.Cal ponders his relationship with Gillian and how to avoid screwing it up.Crib notes for the fandom blind included!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Besides a blink-and-you'll-miss-it reference to Kate, this is entirely LTM-fan-friendly. All you need to know is that Kate and Gill had a brief relationship, and that she's still friends with both Gillian and Cal.
> 
> Kate lives!AU. Post LTM canon, playing fast and loose with NCIS canon as it suits me, in a 'verse where Kate is still alive and working for NCIS.
> 
> NCIS folks: Gill and Cal are experts in lie detection, using facial expression (reading emotion), vocal stress analysis and other expertise. The Lightman Group helps various law enforcement agencies and other people when the truth is at stake.

* * *

_**Better** _

* * *

 

Waking up with his arms full of Gillian is still slightly shocking. Cal keeps expecting to wake up properly and discover he was dreaming; it doesn't seem credible that he finally has what he's wanted for so long.

She shifts in her sleep, makes a happy noise, and murmurs something he thinks was meant to be his name. He hauls her closer, wraps his arms more fully around her, and buries his nose in her hair to take a few deep, Gillian-scented breaths.

It still surprises him she took the initiative like she did. Which is stupid, because he knows beyond any doubt she's about a thousand times as brave as he is. It makes absolute sense she'd be the one to kick his arse into gear, the one who finally got sick of the status quo and took action, the one who set off a bomb in their relationship.

Really, though, he's just surprised she cared enough to do it.

He runs his hands up and down her back, over her bum and up into her hair, memorising the feel of her. He's still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and he can't help the instinct to prepare, to get his fill while he can, before she realises what a terrible mistake she's made and runs like hell in the opposite direction.

It's really unfair to think this way. Gill's dealt with so much shit from him over the years, he's been an arsehole to her in a thousand different ways, and he's yet to reach the end of her capacity for undeserved generosity. She's much better to him than he deserves, but she always has been.

He wonders if he'll ever get over this, ever be able to relax into the security of her love - of her forgiveness. She makes him want to be a better man, as if somehow he can deserve her. He's just not at all sure how to go about doing it.

She shifts and mumbles again, then, "Mmmm, Cal."

Her voice is warm and soft; he's fairly sure she's still mostly asleep. She smacks her lips like a contented baby and clings on to him.

"Morning, sweetheart."

She nuzzles into his chest and makes an adorable snorty little noise, which makes him chuckle. Given how she doesn't glare at him or slap him, he thinks it's reasonable to assume she really isn't awake, so he tugs the duvet up over her and smooths it round her shoulders.

Another thing he's struggling to get over? The way she's tucked so securely, so trustingly into him. The way she's thrown herself heart first into this new development in their relationship. The way she's holding nothing back, even though she's had a front row seat to watch how many times he's fucked things up in every relationship he's ever had.

He's promised himself over and over, it's going to be different this time, he isn't going to balls it up, he's going to be a better partner, a better lover, a better  _person_  than he's ever been before. No other option is acceptable.

So far, he thinks, he's doing an okay job. There's room for improvement, no doubt, but all things considered... well, he hasn't committed any major sins, and he plans to keep it that way. And Gill... Gill seems to be happy, which is the main thing. Even if he's still bemused why she'd choose him.

He's trying, with mixed success, to just accept it, to stop second-guessing his ridiculous good fortune. Some days he manages better than others.

She makes another soft, contented little noise, one which wraps around his heart and squeezes painfully. It's so warm and trusting, so full of love and comfort.

 _Do not screw this up_. It's become his daily (sometimes hourly) mantra. He must not screw this up. He must figure this out. He absolutely cannot and will not make a mess of this.

He sighs, and it's half happiness, half worry. He's not sure there's ever been so much riding on his behaviour, and he's never felt less up to any challenge in his life. And considering he's a dad and he basically invented a branch of behavioural science, that's saying a lot.

He's seriously considering picking Emily's brain, seeing if Kate has any good tips, or even phoning Zoe for relationship advice. If that doesn't speak volumes about both his desperation and his determination, he doesn't know what does.

First thing in the morning and with Gill snug in his arms, his best bet is just to hold her close and not let go, for which he's enormously grateful. This, this is something he can actually do. And he just hopes like hell it'll be enough to keep them going while he works the rest of it out.

_~ fin ~_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still organising this section of this verse, so stories may be posted out of chronological order.


End file.
